Saturday, November 17, 2007

Sucking in the Seventies

We took advantage of a rare good deal offered by a major league sports fanchise last night, attending the Nuggets-Knicks game on Family Night, when we were able to purhase four tickets, four pizzas, four soft drinks and four $10 ESPNZone certificates for $59. When you consider that a pizza and a soft drink by themselves are worth ten dollars -- scratch that: the pizza and soft drink were worth maybe $3.50, but they cost ten dollars. Still, it was a relative bargain.

It was also Super 70s Night, which wasn't heavily advertised before the game, else I might have worn my Styx Paradise Theater concert T-shirt. This was marked mostly by playing "Boogie Shoes" and several selections from Off the Wall during the timeouts.

Also, the following:

* Coming into the arena parking lot, fans were subject to a half-hour-long gas line.

* Rather than the customary pregame Bible study class, the players celebrated a guitar Mass.

* The first 10,000 fans entering the arena received a free copy of Erica Jong's Fear of Flying.

* The national anthem was sung by the Starland Vocal Band.

* Pregame lineups were read over the PA by Don Cornelius.

* All black players wore Afros; all white players parted their hair in the middle and feathered it. Every player was required to play with a wide plastic comb tucked into his back pocket.

* There was a special halftime appearance by Dickie Goodman.

* All players were required to do a line before the game, and another at halftime.

* The Player of the Game, as chosen by the announcers, got to make a special appearance on Fantasy Island.

* If the Nuggets reached 110 points, all fans received a free Pillsbury Space Food stick.

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