Monday, May 14, 2007
Dear Mr. Dork
You may have heard about that ball that Toronto Blue Jays centerfielder Vernon Wells signed for a hcekler in Cleveland last week. Well, signed isn't the right word; he wrote a whole derogatory but good-natured missive on it: "Dear Mr. Dork, Here is your ball! Can you please tell me what gas station you work at so I can come and yell at you when you're working. Please sit down, shut up and enjoy the game. From your favorite centerfielder, Vernon Wells."
That sounded like an awful lot to fit on one ball, making me wonder if Vernon did things like inscribe the Lord's Prayer on a grain of rice in his spare time. But now I have photographic evidence that he simply has neat handwriting, and way more patience than me.