Thursday, September 4, 2008

Got Me Hopin' You'll Page Me Right Now


Beyonce Knowles-Z turns twenty-seven today. Despite being one of the most famous women in the world, Beyonce is still a bit underrated, I think. It's not just that she's been responsible for a lengthy string of hit singles, first with Destiny's Child and then on her own, but so many have them have been devastatingly good: "Survivor," "Crazy in Love," "Irreplaceable," etc. I have heard people question just how much she's been involved with these records, but she gets a co-writing and co-producing credit on all three of those songs I just mentioned. She's also managed to have a thriving acting career, and she's totally bootylicious. What's not to like?

Having said that, I think Beyonce is in some sense responsible for inadvertantly crippling Austin Powers in Goldmember. There were some great scenes in that movie, struggling to turn themselves into a decent film, but there was just too much fighting for your attention: Austin, Dr. Evil, Goldmember, Foxxy, Fat Bastard, Mini-Me, Fred Savage as the Mole, Seth Green as Scott Evil, Michael Caine, the star-laden intro, the interlude with Austin and Evil back at prep school... That's probably too much for one movie as it is.

But one other major problem was that Austin took a curiously hands-off attitude toward Beyonce, which was weird considering his uber-horndog persona in the first film. Austin's libido is a major part of his character, but it was totally softened here - I suspect because Beyonce was, at the time it was shot, a 19-year-old with a penchant for talking up her Christianity. That, plus there just wasn't any room for hanky-panky. (Plus there was that great gag about the Japanese subtitles, which was ruined by having Beyonce explain each and every joke, stomping out any possible humor, although I certainly don't blame her for that.)

It's too bad. Beyonce is way sexier than Heather Graham ever dreamed of being.

2 comments:

Gavin said...

I remember nothing about that movie now except for the Moon Unit Alpha / Moon Unit Zappa joke.

T. Nawrocki said...

Beyonce was in it.