Friday, April 3, 2009

Once I Understood

So I was driving through northern New Mexico today and noticed a sign alerting the population of I-25 that Foreigner was making an upcoming appearance at an Indian casino, as well as the fact that opening for Foreigner would be the band Think. You may remember Think as the studio concoction that perpetrated "Once You Understand" on this great nation of ours back in 1972. That was the half-spoken-word hit that featured arguing between teenagers and their parents, with a chorus going "Things'll get a little easier once you understand" all the while. Then there was an ending that was most chilling, although probably not in the way the producers intended:

Mister Cook (yes)
You have a son named Robert
Robert Cook, age seventeen (yes)
I'm sorry, Mister Cook
You better come down
To the station house
Your son is dead (dead, how)
He died of an overdose (oh, God)


Now, even I'm not dumb enough to think that that Think is going to be sullying the good name of Foreigner at an Indian casino in New Mexico. There must be some new band that was so enamored with "Once You Understand" that they decided to cop the name.

But why would anyone in their right mind name themselves after a band that was famous for being horrible? If you were starting a band would you call it Milli Vanilli? Or Johnny Hates Jazz? Or the Doors?