Hey Dude

Ringo Starr turned 67 yesterday, amazingly enough. How many of us will always remember him from The Ed Sullivan Show as the lovable moptop with the cocked head and the lopsided smile? Not me, that's for sure.

Anyone who doubts that Ringo (the other Beatles actually called him "Ring," according to Geoff Emerick) was a great drummer is advised to go listen to "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey." In fact, even if you already think Ringo was a great drummer, it's always a good idea to go listen to "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey," which is totally hot.

Here, in contravention of all copyright laws known to man, I present David Letterman's Top Ten Revelations in Albert Goldman's Upcoming Biography of Ringo:

10. Only Beatle to portray himself in Beatlemania
9. Used to give John and Paul token songs to sing so they wouldn't feel left out
8. Had a secretary named Lincoln, while Lincoln had a secretary named Ringo
7. For a while, actually believed Paul was dead
6. Served in Indiana National Guard during Vietnam War
5. Suggested "Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees" as Beatles theme song
4. On their honeymoon, he and Barbara Bach held a "bed-in" to promote Seagram's wine coolers
3. Made a fortune selling cheesy Ginsu Knife sets on TV (I'm sorry-that's revelations about Ronco)
2. Advised Paul that "Hey Dude" just didn't sound right
1. Vocal on "Octopus's Garden" played backwards sounds like "Thank God these other guys are so talented"